turn "Yes, But" Into "But, Yes..."

Have you ever hosted a workshop or brainstorm where it seemed as if every comment began with “yes but”? Where every build on an idea was actually a “yes but” judgment from the person in the corner? There always seems to be one if not more in the room and it can turn any possibilities conversation into a challenges downer. I’ve encountered many Yes Butters in my lifetime and I’ve learned a few tricks along the way. I used to let them get to me. Suddenly I would begin to doubt the validity of the ideas and instantly become disappointed and frustrated by the lack of fruitful conversation. After a few bad meetings with little to no outcome I realized something…All I needed to do was take their energy and channel it in a different way. In the “yes butter’s” defense, they don’t know they are doing it and don’t necessarily have the skills to switch their thinking into something more positive and constructive. The key to all of these tricks is to take out the seriousness and add a little fun. Letting the individual or team have fun will also help them let go and embrace a new frame of thought. For example, in a recent brainstorming session, everyone was drinking bottled water. Normal. Once they found the bendy straws with paper umbrellas in the creativity box everyone had to have one. It lightened up the room instantly. A simple twist on a normal thing is all it takes sometimes. Nothing like a bunch of powerhouses drinking from silly straws to make you laugh.

1. Use Your Child’s Playroom As Inspiration: Environment and tone for the day matters. I’ve lead and participated in too many so-called creative brainstorm sessions in the executive conference room. See the point? It’s hard to ask people to let go of the shackles, be creative, think what if and then surround them with stale art work, a U-shaped conference table and an overhead projector. Find a place that matches the brainstorm topic and fosters mindful expansion. I’ve rented out everything from the library in a children’s play museum to farmhouses on a remote island. It can also be as simple as a nurturing coffee house or someone’s living room. Set the stage by adding some creativity and imagination to the environment as well as the discussion. FYI, if you are stuck in the conference room, think of creative ways to decorate. Going to a party store can spark some great decorating ideas. It’s just like your child’s playroom. Full of toys, a little disorganized (at least mine is) and lots of fun to be in!

2. Put a Dollar In The Jar: We all know the traditional rules of brainstorming - no idea is a bad one, no judgments, if you think it say it. Tell the team upfront that every time someone starts a sentence with “yes butt, or we can’t do that because” they have to put a dollar of in a jar that you then get to use as you wish. It makes the entire room aware of the use of that type of language and allows members to make fun of each other when it happens. I made $25 extra bucks this way once. The best part was that after saying it they would laugh, put the dollar in the jar and continue on with a more positive reframe to their comment

3.Press Restart: When someone starts their sentence with a “yes but” or similar phrase ask them to rephrase starting with a “wouldn’t it be great if”. It’s hard to finish that statement in the negative. Here is a recent example from one of my work-sessions:
a. Participant: Yes, however we are competing against other charities that our
employees give to so they don’t embrace ours.
b. Lots of laughter, dollar in the jar….
c.Participant with new sentence: Wouldn’t it be great if we could get our
employees to embrace our charities as well as their own personal causes?

Several things happened here. Can you see them? First it reframed the challenge from the negative to the positive without losing the essence of their thought. Remember, we aren’t trying to ignore reality, we just want it to be used constructively. Second, it opened the room up for discussion by changing it from a statement to a question. Now the team is able to participate in that individual’s thought versus simply hearing their concern.

4. Bubbling Up: Often times there are one or two people in the room that can’t let go of their handcuffs. Recognize that for those on the frontlines it’s hard to see the picture when they are in the frame. If you have a group of 6 or more I highly suggest breaking the team up into small two to three person break-outs and rotating the individuals in those teams throughout the day. This allows everyone to have a voice. To put it bluntly, it drowns out the “yes butters” and allows the “but yessers” in the room to bubble to the surface a bit more. It gives everyone a voice as well as gets away from consensus brainstorming which never works! After the teams have gone off to create, bring them back for show and tell. You will get a high quantity and quality of ideas through this simple technique.

Tamara Kleinberg

Chief Imaginator
Imagibility, w
Where the imaginable is the possible.

Enjoy Journaling - Make it personal

Making a journal personal sounds obvious right? Of course it is. You fill up blank pieces of paper with your dreams, thoughts, ideas and stories. It's personal and often times very private. But, if you are anything like me, you start a journal only to forget it exists. Journaling goes from daily to a few times a week to "oh, I haven't seen that in months".









I asked around, chatted with neighbors and finally sought the advice of a very creative friend of mine. She happens to be an amazing photographer and artist. Recently she gave me a picture of a swing on a beach that just spoke to me. The picture represented a moment in time I was, and still am, after. I can hear the waves, feel my hands on the rope and the sand on my feet. The palm trees almost speak to me in this picture. So peaceful and simple.









She then showed me something that changed my journaling. A personalized journal that she made. A picture she had taken on the front, spiral bound and ready for all her words. My first comments to her were, "wow, if only I was that crafty, I too could have a personalize journal that really spoke to me". Then she said something that rocked my world. She said, "I took it to Kinkos and had them put it together for me".









"What?" I replied, "Could it be that simple?"









And so off I went with some photos, a ream of white paper and a dream. Ten minutes and $8 bucks later I was holding my new journal. As you can see, the picture of the swing on the beach is on the front. The next page is my check from the universe for $5MM. Go to http://www.thesecret.tv/ to get one for yourself. As you can tell, I have high hopes for 2009!



Just to remind you, I am not crafty at all. KinkosFedEx did all the work. All I did was give them what I wanted in it. I love my journal and look forward to filling up the pages. I have no doubt that my next journal will have a totally different picture in it as I intend to be in a much different place when I finish this one up. Always moving forward.



I encourage you to grab some photos, maybe even your vision board and do the same. It's fun to create and fun to write in!

If you are looking for a winter weather past time for your kids, I suggest creating collages and turning them into journals for drawing and writing.

Postcards For Your Kids

Hmmm, does anyone like travel anymore? Between the crowded planes and minimal overhead space I can definitely say I don't! In my past life (last year) I was Vice President of a brand strategy and innovation firm. That meant that I was on an airplane almost every week for new business, project work, conferences, etc., etc. It was totally exhausting. Last week I traveled again for work for the first time after having my second son. He is only four months old so I'm sure you can imagine that I had a hard time leaving to begin with. I work very hard to minimize my travel.

But, travel is inevitable, especially when you are trying to build a business as well as play parent. Someone gave me some great advice once on how to stay connected while on the road. I pass this on to all the parents out there that travel whether it's once a year or once a week.

Send postcards! Something so small and easy helps kids stay connected to where mommy and daddy are. It's a treat for them to see their name on a postcard - finally mail for them! I carry a few stamps with me and buy a postcard every time I touchdown. Then I mail it from the hotel. If it's a longer trip the postcard gets there before me and other times it arrives long after I've returned.

Some also use a map to help their kids locate the cities in the postcards. Pin them to the wall.

Remember, to a child Tulsa, Aurora and St. Louis are just as glamorous as New York City and Athens.

Enjoy!

How do you add fun and creativity to your day?

What's your secret? What are the small things you do to add more fun and creativity to your day. You know, those small tricks that make the seemingly routine more fun! Let me know. Show your creative side.

A Play On Words

A friend recently sent me the following. I laughed so hard I had to share. Enjoy!

"Here is the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational which once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.Here are the winners:

1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.

2. Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

3. Intaxicaton: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

5. Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high

8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an a$$hole

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.) : Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor ( n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

This led me to try word combos with my son. He is a 4 yr old boy so inevitably the word "butt" was included. We came up with some pretty silly combos:

1. douch: dog sitting on a couch

2. bary: baby that cries a lot (i.e. his little brother)

3. blankutt: blanket with a butt (made sense to him)

Try it. You'll be amazed at what you and your children come up with!

Pitch A Tent, Watch A Movie

I used to run creative brainstorming sessions and workshops with marketing, innovation and r&d teams in large consumer goods companies (think soda, cereal and hot dogs). I was brought in to help facilitate discussions, push boundaries and help the teams think creatively about a problem that seemed unsolvable in the past. I learned very quickly that sometimes a shift in perspective and experience is all it took to get to the answer. When we do the same thing over and over again it gets boring and tedious. Tackling the same challenge in the same way closes off the creative juices and shuts down the brain.



The same is true for family activities that once seemed fun. On the weekends my son gets to watch one movie after a morning of outdoor activities and a good nap. It's become part of the routine and something that my son ends up doing alone so that I can clean or take a sneak nap.



No fun for anyone! So today we shook it up a bit. We took a different perspective on the same activity. Instead of sitting on the couch, we pitched a tent in the living room, dirt from past camping trip included, put down the sleeping bags, made popcorn and hot cocoa and watched his favorite movie - Star Wars.

We had a blast (no pun intended). Even the dog came in for some popcorn.

I encourage parents everywhere to think about your family routine and find new ways to infuse fun. Don't settle, play! Here are some ideas to get you started:

* Have a dinner picnic: eat dinner on a blanket in the family room
* Sleep over: on a weekend night, sleep in the living room next to the fireplace (make some smores)
* Driving to school: turn drive time into I-spy games
* At the park: instead of sitting in the corner with a latte and blackberry, play catch or collect leaves
* Teeth brushing: see who can sing the alaphabet while brushing teeth. A song is even better.

Let me know what you've done to add a twist of fun to the every day